I’m betting, Ruth Graves Wakefield , the inventor of the the Nestles Toll House Cookies, never expected it to be an $18 billion industry. I’m also betting she never expected a blog to be written about why chocolate chip cookies can help families cope in times of turmoil, such as with a virus pandemic in our times of 2020.
Schedules were bumped, schools closed, no longer can go to friends houses. Then add on news agencies counting the dead on a counter for each area of the world. Seriously, I wonder if that is really necessary. Luckily this will be temporary, but still traumatic for everyone.
The very first day of quarantine, I didn’t see the kids for most of the day.
I wasn’t too concerned because they are teens and and doing their own stuff like art, reading, texting, gaming, mostly on the internet. And it was a Friday, but as Saturday rolled in…I noticed some seclusion and withdrawal from the kids…oh, who’s kidding the whole family was getting a bit distant. I had to think of some easy ways to get us to the ‘table’ per se. Especially, when mom and dad start working all day from home and the kids haven’t started back to school.
Everyone needs something to look forward to in the afternoon.
Even if it’s that afternoon coffee. I thought of my mother, with alzheimer’s, being in one place all the time and how she used to love having the 2 o’clock fresh baked cookie hour. I miss my mom right now with all the quarantines, and I thought this could serve as a reminder of my mom (aka grandma) as well as a nice family meet up during the day.
Sunday night I created the full 5 dozen cookie toll house batch and divided into 6 zip locks and put one in the fridge and the rest in the freezer.
Monday (Day 1) I started the quarantine 2 o’clock cookie hour in our house.
We all take a break when the cookies are done and see each other and have a couple laughs, talk about what we’ve done, and what’s for tomorrow. Having something to look forward can really create some consistency in a time uncertainty.
Watching the pandemic news, working from home, kids home from school, schedules a mess….who can relate? As a mom, like me, you probably feel the burden of keeping the peace in the house, meal preparation, etc. Keeping the kids balanced as well as your spouse. I’m not sure why we take this on, but it seems instinctual.
In the wake of this corona virus craziness we all need a very simple way to relax and reduce stress. A daily practice of coloring can calm the mind and stay positive. Keep you mentally healthy to focus on what matters.
Coloring has the ability to relax the fear center of your brain, the amygdala. It induces the same state as meditating by reducing the thoughts of a restless mind.
You don’t have to look far to realize mindful coloring has several benefits. The next are just to name a few benefits according to Alfred James – author of Pocket Mindfulness …
relieving stress
replacing patterns of negative thinking
encouraging yourself to be in current moment
escaping the rat race
building mental strength
relaxing and having some fun
And a study noted by Psychology Today’s blog indicates this. After a week of daily practice, it displayed significantly lower levels of anxiety. It also showed a reduction in depressive symptoms.
You need 5 to 15 minutes to just relax the mind. Take more time if you can. Concentrate on the positive. Coloring is so simple. You will find it really helps bring you into the current moment. It gives your mind the break and calm it needs.
An added advantage is the end result can be shared to spread some happiness and positive feelings in others.
If you interested in getting a mindful coloring book, here is a link to get one on Amazon.
3 simple things we can do to move forward in times when mindfulness is difficult.
If you’re anything like me: full time employee, mom of children in school, daughter of mother with alzheimer’s, spouse to now anxious husband…your mindful journey may be disrupted too. How do we get back on track. How do we keep our friends and family on track around us?
For some, their kids are out of school, others may have been home teleworking, and some have been sick. I’m praying, that anyone that gets this virus we recover quickly. And praying the financial stability of our world will return quickly.
Praying, (if you do this) is a way of releasing control…giving it to someone or something else. This is a great way to allow yourself to let go of things that may be too big to conquer alone. Ask yourself what it would feel like to give it to someone else to worry about while you plan for what’s to come.
Letting go, to me, is simply accepting what is…to be prepared for what’s next.
I’m not suggesting we stick our head in the sand. We can definitely take a moment to think of what we do have control over. For me, I have control over how I react to the craziness around me. I have control over not spreading panic or negativity. I even have some control over my health and wellbeing. I have some limited influence over reminding family and friends to be mindful in times like these. In turn, it is also a reminder to my own journey.
Bring it on.
So, what are some simple things we can do to proceed in times of mindfulness is difficult. It entails some planning for the days ahead to prevent heightened anxieties…I’m going to do the following for my family.
Plan for items that promotes good sleep. Such as journaling, reading, or relaxing music before bed. Journaling can consist of just writing down things/feelings on your mind or even a simple todo list. Remind family and friends of these techniques.
Plan for 15 minutes a day for something mindful with someone. Such as coloring, walking meditation, or observing nature (like photography). I’ve been finding these to be helpful and alternating between them..even before the stress of a virus.
Let go of what is not in my control. This is where praying comes in to play for me. It could be other things for you. Such as, having gratitude for the universe and people we hold dear.
There are several more things we can do to promote mindfulness. But these are the ones I have in my toolbox at this time. They seem reasonable to me and I am a woman of moderation at heart.
Nature keeps us in the moment and allows us to stop thinking about all our other thoughts. Today was no different.
I was thinking of more ways to be in the moment and had memories of taking photos of nature with my husband on our honey moon back in the day. My brother had given us a really nice camera for our wedding present (a camera he wanted to get more use). We gladly accepted it. This was prior to the digital picture age.
I remember how it slid us down a slide of learning everything about the camera options and lighting. We took a lot of photographs together and saw amazing sights. Taking in all the nuances of the scenes outside. We loved getting them developed and going over them and trying to remember which one of us took each photo and why. My husband was way more talented that I at this endeavor, but I loved being in the experience.
So, today I enlisted my daughter to use her digital phone and take pictures for my blog posts. She captured such incredible videos for a previous post, I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed. She went on a walk for some fresh air and captured the most incredible pictures today. It was raining earlier and she went out in the break of the rain.
What I didn’t realize is how many great shots she would get and how satisfied and relaxed she was when she returned. I thought to myself this would be a good reflection for today. I asked her what her top three things that were calming and mindful to her.
Top three reasons photography is mindful.
Being tune with Nature and finding little nooks of peacefulness.
2. Ignoring any anxieties while focusing on the intricate details of the photo.
3. Focusing on this very moment and beauty of the shot without distraction.
When she returned and we were going over the photographs, and she was explaining her experiences, it really brought me back to how photography can be so calming and stimulate a mindful connection to nature and the people you share the photos with. I’m going to have to go with her next time.
This one is particularly fun, because there is a fly photo bombing in the flower. Can you find it?
This is a follow up to an older post Free Your Mind, with the idea that focus and intention may free your mind to true happiness. In my quest to train my mind to be more focused and in the moment, I came across articles mentioning this concept of “Flow”. I decided to listen to the book “Finding Flow: The Psychology of engagement with everyday life.” by Csikszentmihalyi.
link to buy your own copy.
I figured it was worth digging a little deeper to get a better idea of the concept of Flow. I listened to the audio book on Audible during my commutes back and forth to work. I was surprised what a quick listen it was, it maybe took about 4 one way trips varying from 20-30 minutes. I listen to my books at 1.25x speed. I will provide an overview, but it may not do it justice in one post.
So, what is Flow?
In positive psychology, a flow state, also known colloquially as being in the zone, is the mental state in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by the complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting transformation in one’s sense of time.
So this state closely aligns with the ideas of intentional, mindful mental state that can create a more calm and collected feeling, thus giving us more enjoyment, more connection, and happiness. This state of mind is also a place that reduced distraction and chaotic thoughts.
I enjoyed the listen, but I will sum up the book here. There is a zone in which we can obtain Flow when we are intrinsically motivated and skill and challenge are balanced.
Skiing is a good example of Flow, if you’re not a skier I’m sure you could imagine another activity that this may relate. Let’s say you enjoy skiing, so this an intrinsically motivated activity. You’re on your way down the slope, going quickly with full attention to your skis, your movement, complete concentration on the task at hand. You’re thinking of nothing else and your body is using muscle memory skill to navigate down the mountain. To a competent skier, they are “in the zone”.
Csikszentmihalyi walks us through many research results (using Experience Sampling Method, or ESM) on groups of people logging their activities and the level of happiness. Although, the author seemed to feel, the happiness results were suspect because the participant was not doing something meaningful (which I felt was a bit subjective). I think the author wanted the results to align with the model of optimal experience, not only for the individual, but the community as well. TV watching was low skill and low challenge, but a participant would mark it as a happy experience.
The author divides our time into three main categories:
Maintenance – scheduling,bills, house cleaning, tending to family
Leisure – hobbies, media, social
Work – employment, volunteering
I believe Csikszentmihalyi might be a little behind the times on gender stereotyping in this book. But, I will give him a break, due to his age and the timing of the research. He does go into detail about the differences of male and female experiences with Flow and when each experience better flow. Although, he does integrate the idea of a working mother and indicates that women tend to have the majority of the maintenance tasks that may not have a high intrinsic motivation.
The book points out several ways to change your mindset to experience Flow more often, even with the maintenance activities. It goes on with an example of thinking through a maintenance activity, such as doing the dishes. Instead of thinking “I have to” do the dishes, to think “I get to” do the dishes (Yay, <insert sarcasm here>). But, in all seriousness, I think the idea works in the mindset of what our ‘why’ is. Instead of thinking of it as a drudgery, to think of it as achieving the goal of keeping a tidy house free of bugs. In this way the goal provides the path for the intrinsic motivation to do the task.
He elaborates on this with an example of setting performance goals associated with these maintenance activities such as doing the dishes faster than the last time, or more efficient than the previous time. Make a game of it, to increase skill and complexity…therefore increasing Flow opportunity. Here is a post that might help…
Keep the goals closely aligned with skill as to create a challenge that is not too overwhelming. Small increments to challenge to build the skills.
As I got to the end of this book, I thought the exploration of social and religious comparisons of creating positive Flow activities were interesting, but I think they drifted a little further than my intention for the topic and what I was looking for.
I couldn’t help thinking, while listening, how do we reduce the chaotic consciousness from interfering with flow. Things like text messages, kids emergencies, parent illnesses, scheduling conflicts, etc. The the narrator got right to it. You have to prioritize and proactive with your time and be intentional about doing or not doing activities as to reduce the chaotic thoughts.
My next thought, was what if my list outways my time. The very next section indicated to draw a line under the planned tasks for the day and not let anymore be added to that day. < insert small chuckle and shrug >
So, I’m going to refresh my daily task organizer and prioritize. I will start up my 7 habits program again. Which seems to be very much in alignment with the philosophy. I would say this book was motivating and revisited a lot of things I’ve already learned, but I may have lost that intrinsic motivation on.
Validation for me that having more focus is crucial to the journey of development and growth in life. Why do we lose focus and what does it take to regain it. From what I’m learning, it’s our fears that creep in that allow us to get in a comfort zone. We may not even realize we have fears or what they are. This comfort zone creates the willingness to allow attentions to be divided. Being proactive and deciding to face the fears, or even just figure them out along the way can create the path for greater quality of life.
The article makes reference to Flow. The book “Flow” by Csikszentmihalyi.
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience teaches how, by ordering the information that enters our consciousness, we can discover true happiness and greatly improve the quality of our lives.
Csikszentmihalyi now has a newer book called “Finding Flow: The Psychology of engagement with everyday life.” I have just ordered it on audible credits.
Who doesn’t want to free your mind to true happiness?
When I’ve completed the book I will post a follow up. For now, have a great day.
What to get out of this post: 3 mindful activities that can help increase the ability to focus. They have equal benefit for men, women, and children.
Coloring
Walking
Connecting with Nature
Coloring
I find the coloring is pretty easy and good way to practice a laser focus on the ‘here and now’. You want to be intentional about the activity. Meaning, set a time and a find a place you are undisturbed…keep your attention to the coloring and when your mind drifts off (which it will) redirect it back to the physical act of coloring, choosing colors, the texture of the paper, the pens or pencils, the sounds, etc.
Walking
I used to walk and just let my thoughts wander and go from thought to thought, I would work out problems to solve or plan things I needed to do that day. Which is valuable, but the practice of mindfulness walking that trains the mind for focus is a bit different. It is an activity of intention and discipline to stay focused. Each step having intention and observance of the action, and feeling every motion and interaction with the feet to the ground.
Connecting with nature can be done in multiple ways and I’m only scratching the surface here. One way is to observe nature and really focus on the details of what you see. When other thoughts interrupt, use the study to refocus on the nature you are observing. Think about the texture, the smells, the movement, colors, etc.
I started adding pictures and videos of nature on the lifeinspiredreflections instagram account. It’s been really fun to work with my daughter to capture these and post them. We will continue to post more. Here is one of a flower.
Another way to use nature for practicing mindfulness is picturing in your mind of something in nature you’ve seen before. Sit without distraction and close your eyes and visualize every detail…try to rebuild the image in you mind. Even better describe it to someone else with you. It’s harder than you think and does take some practice.
There are several more out there related to nature. The main thing I’m getting out of these is the practice of keeping the mind focused. I find distraction in almost every corner these days and I used to be very intentional with my focus. I am working to get that back and attempt to make it a subconscious skill again.
Thank you for reading…stay tuned for more ways to practice in simplistic ways. Please comment or email easy ways you’ve practiced mindfulness.
“Be here now” is a phrase that was used as a culture shift at an employer I worked for in the early 2000’s. With the introduction of blackberrys, telecommuting, and multi tasking, this phrase resonated and made a huge impact on me. I still hear myself using it with my kids and my inner voice when I’m trying to concentrate or regain focus. I had to use this phrase in my mind today and thought it would be a good reflection to share.
I remember when we had our cultural training and “Be here now” was introduced. We would primarily use it when a colleague was trying to multitask in a working meeting that needed undivided attention to carry out decisions. You would catch colleagues trying to catch up on their emails and text messages…a quick “call out” to make sure we all practicing “be here now” would quickly redirect attentions back to the meeting at hand (most of the time). This little phrase has had such an impact on my life.
Today, while visiting my mother at her residential memory care at lunch, this phrase came to mind. She is in the later stages of dementia of Alzheimer’s type. She is wheelchair bound and has difficulty finding the words to express herself. She was trying very hard today to speak, but I could not make out more than the first one or two words of it. It’s getting harder and harder to interact with her verbally or doing activities with her.
In the earlier stages we connecting while reading books, coloring, playing bingo, singing at church. But today I found myself lacking the attention to our connection…talking to the staff, surfing my phone, texting and making dental appointments for my kids. As I looked at her, this little phrase came over me, “be here now”. I took a deep breath and realized I was somewhere else in my mind. I refocused in the present and held hands with my mother, it brought both of us to calm and present place together. I was so grateful for this little phrase. A tool that had been given to me. How many times have we missed the connection with a loved one in the midst of distraction of the past or future.
Heading home from my visit, I thought, where did the company get this phrase…I don’t think I ever thought about where it came from. Wikipedia notes that it comes from the spiritual teacher Ram Dass, from a book he published called “Remember, Be Here Now” in 1971 on spirituality, yoga, and meditation.
Now, though I am a beginner on the path, I have returned to the West for a time to work out karma or unfulfilled commitment. Part of this commitment is to share what I have learned with those of you who are on a similar journey. One can share a message through telling “our-story” as I have just done, or through the teaching methods of yoga, or singing, or making love. Each of us finds his unique vehicle for sharing with others his bit of wisdom. For me, this story is but a vehicle for sharing with you the true message … the living faith in what is possible. –OM–[3]
I will definitely be adding this book to my reading list and I will bring more learnings to these reflections. I’m no yogi, but I think this blog is going to be my unique vehicle for sharing and getting feedback from readers on similar journeys.
Be Here Now. Please comment what tools or phrases you use to re-focus to the present moment.
I’ve started inviting people to my blog and I’m sure if you’re here, you’re wondering why. I have been thinking of starting a blog for a long time, probably years. This is definitely a little out of my comfort zone and a growth opportunity. But primarily for me to experiment if blogging can stimulate more mindfulness in my life while trying to connect with others at the same time.
I am going to take followers along on some of my experiences and thoughts that, without this forum, would just fade away. I’m hoping to have a chance to be inspired as well as learn a bit on these little life reflections. I’m sure my reflections will sometimes be “laugh out loud” moments, sometimes a little random, so please bear with me.
I will likely cover a few topics, since my life ranges from wife, mom, taxi, computer geek, crafting, reading, shopping, art and music enthusiast, ‘want to be’ chef, etc. I have kids in middle to high school, so I’m sure they will come up occasionally on my adventures. I will try to keep the blog active and would really like interaction and feedback.
Welcome aboard. I would also love to make some friends along this journey with similar interests and positive vibes. Please don’t forget to follow, subscribe, and share.
